#usingsocialmediawithoutbeingatool

While it's easy for many people over the age of 55 or 60 to assume everyone younger than them is a technological junkie that lives their lives out in a series of tweets, I would ask that they look a little closer.  I am not even 30, but I still clearly remember a time when cell phones and the Internet were not part of daily life.  I remember using a quarter and a pay phone to call my mom after school.  I remember VCR's and Blockbuster stores.  I remember using a phone book to find a number instead of using Google.  In many ways I'm part of a lucky generation - we are old enough to remember life without these technological advances but young enough to adapt and benefit from them. 

No, I don't think the world is going to hell in a handbasket just because people don't dial each other on roatary phones anymore.  All the same, I do think that technology and social media have changed us, and not entirely for the better.  While I myself am part of this Facebook "generation" I can't help but feel concerned, puzzled and downright peeved at some of the nonsense that pops into my newsfeed on a daily basis. 

So, I decided to do what I do best: make a list.  I make lots of lists every day - shopping lists, to-do lists, superheroes-I'd-like-to-be lists.  Today's list is a series of ground rules for the modern gal or guy using Facebook and/or other social media sites.  I call this list: "Lauren's super-awesome guidelines for using social media without being a total tool". 

1.) Facebook is a social media tool to keep up with friends, share pictures and make connections with others.  It is not a forum for detailing your daily grievances with your life.  It does not exist to provide you with an audience for the thrilling play-by-play of your most recent bout with a stomach virus.  If you're truly so sick that you want to climb under a rock and curl up and die, then I'd be pretty surprised if there's Wifi under said rock.  Go to bed, drink some tea, and stay off of Facebook. 

2.) You're = you are.  Your = a possessive adjective.  Your just knot getting it write. 

 

3.) While you're Instagram-ing the world a picture of your breakfast (with some ridiculous caption like "Egggsssss #protein #morning #incredibleedibleegg) it's getting cold on your plate.  While you're busy checking yourself in to the restaurant you just arrived to, you're missing out on a fun game of crayon/placemat tic-tac-toe with your spouse.  While you're tweeting a picture of the "sick sunset" on your vacation, you're.....missing your vacation.  Yes, catch up your friends on the fun stuff you're doing.  But don't replace the experience with a tweet/post/status update. 

4.) #istilldonotgethashtags.  I'm not joking about this.  Hashtag comments annoy me almost as much as this:

5.) Whyyyyy do peopleeee addddddd letterssss to the endddd of their wordsssss?  Seriously, it's like a typographical speech impediment.  Cut it outttttt. 

6.) This one goes out to the ladies.  Gals, we can vote now.  We are no longer required to wholly dedicate our lives to making meatloaf, making babies and wearing pearls (not knocking pearl necklaces, meatloaf or babies....I'm a fan of all three).  

My point is, we've socially progressed far enough that we can be appreciated and praised for our ideas, our opinions and that grey matter between our ears (#brains).  So quit un-doing all that good work by posting ridiculous pictures of yourself on Facebook (and elsewhere) that suggest that you're anything except the well-educated college student or the young professional lady that you really are.  Yes, I'm talking to you, girl who takes 4000 shots of your cleavage with your webcam.  Or you, girl who stands in her bra and snaps a shot in the bathroom mirror with a look of feigned shock.  Seriously, let's save something for the imagination - your girlfriends will thank you and the classy dudes out there will appreciate it too.  Oh, and smiling in pictures never hurt either - you've got to stop making that stick-out your lips like a duckbill platypus face.  It looks like a collagen treatment gone south. 

7.) (And this is the big one, people) 

We're lucky to live in a time that allows us to stay connected with family and friends that live far away.  We're lucky to have Facebook to find new connections with people around the world that share our hobbies, read the same books and watch the same movies.  We're blessed to be able to see the children of friends and relatives grow, even if we're not able to visit them in person very often.  Let's harness these amazing capabilities and use them for good.  Use Facebook to spread the word about a worthy cause or to gather people together to do something helpful and useful. 

But, let's also remember that liking a status doesn't take the place of giving a hug; that having 4,000 virtual friends can never take the place of having even one true friend.  And that poking people (online or in real life) ....is just creepy.